We all want to come off as though we “have it all together”. None of us wants to appear as though we are struggling to get by or having a difficult time keeping it together. Be it emotionally, financially, spiritually…all the allies you name it we, fake it. Somewhere along the line, it became unacceptable to say “I am just not doing well”. So, the façade of having a perfect life became the new norm and dare you to display anything other than that perfection.
Hence, in an effort to feel as though we are well put together and we “fit in”, we sometimes feed our souls with the biggest lies. Lies that grow into becoming some of life’s greatest betrayals. We develop these unhealthy thoughts and suppress our true feelings because we are ashamed of letting the public know that life is not all peaches and cream and that we have insecurities, we worry and half of the time we have not the slightest clue as to what the heck we are doing. Hidden beneath our perfect social media posts is a world of hurt and untouched trauma we have no idea how to begin to deal with. How do I know this? The answer is simple, I have lived it and if you care to be honest, so have you.
For some of us, we are the root cause of the greatest betrayal we have ever experienced. While we may be alive, there are parts of ourselves that we kill daily to fit into society’s norms. We fear disapproval so much that we shrink or suppress the parts of us that make of unique. If that is not the ultimate betrayal then what is? The idea that we have to somehow adjust our personalities to be accepted or that we have to downplay what makes us different is ridiculous, to say the least.
There are at least three lies that we feed ourselves that could one day be detrimental to our emotional health. Think I am lying? Let me prove it to you.
Lie number one: “I am ok”…How many times have you lied and said you were ok when someone asked how you were doing? Knowing that deep down inside everything is crumbling. Why is it so hard just to say “listen I am really not doing well today”? Is it pride or fear of being judged? Either way trying to convince others or ourselves that we are doing ok when we are not, does not serve us. It is impossible to heal what we keep hidden. In order for healing to take place, we have to face the hurt, we have to conquer the thing that wants to keep us bound. Besides, there is no shame in admitting that you are not doing well.
Lie number two: “I don’t care what they think”… girl bye!! You know you care. Probably a lot more than you should but that is ok. Want to know why? No matter how much we sing it at the top of our lungs we alllll care. We all want to be perceived in the best light. We all want people to see the good in us and to applaud our achievements, no one wants to feel as though they are going unnoticed. We all care, all of us, no matter what level of life we are on we all
Lie number three: “I don’t need anyone’s approval” …Truth is if we did not need anyone else’s approval we would be authentic to ourselves. We would not shrink to fit into places we were never meant to fit in the first place. This statement is just one way of justifying the fact that we are not brave enough to live our truth. We feed ourselves this lie to feel better about not taking that leap of faith we really wanted to take. We feed on this lie to justify falling inline when all you really wanted was to run around in circles.
Though it is the norm for humans to lie to ourselves, to keep secrets and to betray ourselves. It is not at all healthy. You can never really achieve true peace and freedom until you start to treat yourself with the same level of love, respect and devotion we feed into other areas of our lives. I know it is easy to tell yourself later. However the next time you feel the urge to do something that does not make your soul happy remember your self-respect and self-confidence is not worth the sacrifice.
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