Yes, you read that correctly, my husband was not who I expected him to be.
Most people have a picture or a fantasy of who they would like to spend the rest of their lives with. I too had an idea of what my forever would look like. Though I did not have an exact man mapped out in my head, well at least not his physical attributes. I knew I wanted to marry someone who loved God, someone who would understand me and my complex emotions, someone who was hard-working, faithful and the list goes on. However nowhere on that list did I factor in my husband being a potential. We had not spoken to each other in years and for all I knew he was living his best life, not at all concerned with what I was doing. Even after receiving a word from God that my husband would come from my past, I never for a second thought it would be him.
For years I saw my husband as just my childhood friend. Though we would catch up from time to time and he would express that he had feelings for me. I never took it that seriously to explore the possibilities of him being my husband. Imagine my surprise after receiving a WhatsApp message from him around October in 2015 outlining everything I had been praying to God for in a relationship. This man told me he was not into playing games with me, he wanted to make me his wife. There I was on my bed reading the very thing I had been praying for and not knowing how to accept it so… I turned it down. In my head I could not see past friendship, I thought I had way too much going on at the time and did not want to bring him into it. Sort of like I was protecting him because I still saw him as my childhood friend.
A few months after that conversation I went home and as faith would have it, the stars aligned and we met up. I remember our initial meeting; we spent all night in his car just talking and laughing like the 10 years we went without seeing each other meant nothing. After that night we were inseparable for the remainder of my vacation. We spent most of our days together catching up and falling in love without even knowing. Well at least I did not know, that was until that one day I did not get to see him. We had planned on going to the beach with friends and family. However, things did not go as planned he ended up spending the day with his best friend at the garage trying to get his car fixed (long story). That was the day I realized I had fallen in love with this man. See, before this day I convinced myself that it was not possible for a relationship to work between us. Though there was undeniable chemistry and he checked off everything on my list, I was still not willing to accept he could be “the one.” Please do not get me wrong, my husband is amazing, I knew it and so did everyone around us that Christmas. It was me, I could not get out of my own way long enough to see that God had answered my prayers and so I kept denying it.
“No way this is him I thought, we grew up together, he is literally my childhood friend. If it was him, I would have known it.” Those were the thoughts going through my head. This man was doing everything right and I was still trying to find reasons as to why a relationship between would not work. It was not until we were forced to spend that day apart from each other I realized I was really falling in love with him. That day I saw what not accepting my feelings for him would be like. I was miserable for the entire day! I could not function at all, I was bored, I felt so lonely. I just could not understand what was happening it was as though a piece of me was missing. I remember sending him a text: “hey, I think I miss you”. That was the first time for those 2 weeks I admitted to feeling anything outside of friendship for him and that was the message that changed the game.
Needless to say, things progressed from there, to tell the entire story would take far too much time. what I would like to say is simply sometimes we are the ones standing in the way of our own happy endings. Our expectations can cause us to miss what God has directly in front of us. If I did not see past the childhood friendship I shared with my husband, I would not be in this God-ordained marriage today. I would most likely still be single and searching for something I let pass me by. As I always say...Relax those expectations because more often than not, your biggest blessings will not come packaged how you expect them to be. Get out of your head, embrace change and let things flow in there natural order. You will find life to be a lot more pleasant when you do.
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21
Comments