I often struggle with the notion of not being “enough”. After much self-evaluation, I realized that this was not a thought that I developed based on my own reasons. Rather it was something that was forced upon me by other people’s actions. See other people’s perception who you are, how you should act, look, or conduct your life does have the ability to shape who you think you should be. I can honestly say that interacting with humans on an intimate level has caused much damage to my self-esteem. There were things about me that I did not give a second thought to until someone commented on it or pointed it out in a not so positive way. Sadly, I know I am not alone in this plight. There are both men and women across the globe who battle with the fear of not being enough or not being able to live up to society's standards of success.
We live in a world that celebrates “perfection” and anything outside of that is not good enough. It is so easy to pull up social media and compare yourself to the images that are posted there. I think sometimes we forget that most people post their best moments and unless you know these persons personally there is no way to truly tell what their lifestyle is like. From body image to owning the house by or before thirty, need I mention being an entrepreneur, getting married by twenty-five and having a baby. We witness other people’s best moments and accomplishments which can put some of us in a fragile state of mind. It is very easy to observe this and think to yourself “what am I doing with my life?” While you may truly celebrate someone and their accomplishments the insecurities in you begin to highlight what you are lacking in comparison to this person. I call it “death by Instagram”. Trying to measure your success and worth along with that of other people on the internet is just about one of the craziest things you can do to yourself. We all move at our own pace in life, some of us might be late bloomers while others are not.
It is imperative to note that your worth cannot be measured by anyone else. It is personal, you are the only who dictates how worthy you are. You are uniquely designed and while there might be persons similar to you, no one is ever going to be YOU! That little fact should be sufficient for you to see that you are indeed ENOUGH. Success is not tied to a specific age no matter how much it looks like it is on Instagram. Find your own groove, do not be swayed by the opinions of other people. Do what makes you feel fulfilled and have fun doing it.
I have been in positions where I found myself trying to make up for the things I “lacked” simply because I was trying to measure up to someone else. In doing this I have lost parts of me that I absolutely loved and gained such self-doubt. As a result, I made a conscious effort not to allow society to affect the way I see myself, even if society means people that are close to me. I am slowly learning to value everything about me that might not be "up to society's standards". Here is how I beat the social media comparison syndrome:
I try to affirm on a daily basis that I am enough!! I was created with everything that I need to be a successful black woman in whatever it is that I pursue.
I am not responsible for other people’s actions towards me. After all, not everyone has the ability to spot a treasure.
I cannot be held liable for people not seeing my value.
Most importantly my worth is not attached not to a living soul on this earth!
I am everything I was created to be and no one can take my place in this life.
Luvlies the above statements are not only true for me, but they are every bit your truth as well. There is no one on this planet that possess all the things you do in the same way you do. As you go through your daily social media scrolling try to keep this in mind: "The fastest way to kill something special is to compare it to something else". You are Enough!!
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else”
Galatians 6:4 (NIV)
“Let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.”
Romans 12:6 (MSG)
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